If you’re like most parents, you want to do everything you can to help your kids succeed in life. For many moms and dads that includes giving your progeny a helping hand with some of life’s major expenses, such as university and a home. Assuming you have only a limited amount to give, how can you ensure your cash makes the biggest possible difference?

Many parents think the best answer is to pay for a chunk of university expenses. The theory here is that with a degree to their name, little David and wee Sally should be able to take care of themselves for the rest of their lives.

But let’s face it. Some kids drop out of school. Others don’t do much with the BA you paid so much to help them get. You can spend thousands on tuition only to have your kids stock shelves at Wal-Mart. Talk about a lousy investment.

So maybe it’s best to wait and see how your kids turn out as grown-ups. Let them struggle through school and the early part of their career. Then, when they’re married, expecting a baby, and trying to scrape up enough money for their first house, you can swoop in with a fat down payment. But that strategy, too, can have its drawbacks, especially if your child’s marriage isn’t as solid as you might like.

The one sure thing is that it pays to think through your options early. “At one point or another every parent has to deal with this question, because children are going to go through periods where they have financial needs,” says Tim Cestnick, an accountant and financial expert in Burlington, Ont., and author of Winning the Education Savings Game.

A good starting point is acknowledging that each one of your children is different. Since nobody knows your kids as well as you do, consider these three strategies for three different types of children:

• The A student. If Junior is a superior student, your choice is simple — help him out with university fees. “Paying for your kids’ education gives you a bigger bang for your buck” than any other option, says Vera Adamovich, a certified financial planner in Ottawa, because when you contribute to an RESP, the government puts in money as well. Plus, “if I help my kids with an education, they’re going to more easily be able to afford a home of their own,” she says.

A bit of parental assistance during university can make a huge difference. Students who graduate with debt owe a median $24,000 in government loans. That debt can hang over their heads for a decade or longer, especially if they’re not making much money at their first jobs or if they’re heading off to medical school or graduate school after finishing their first degrees.

If you think your children are bright but unmotivated, your best plan may be to pay only part of their school bill, says FrankWiginton, a certified financial planner at TriDelta Financial Partners in Toronto. “If some of their own money is at stake, they’ll try harder,” he says. Better yet, use a carrot-and-stick approach, as Wiginton’s parents did. He had to pay for his university fees up front, but each time he passed a course, his parents reimbursed him for the cost.

• The college kid. For kids going to college, consider a different approach. Why? Because college tuition is cheaper than university tuition and kids often end up living at home if they go to a local school. There’s no reason they shouldn’t pay for a big chunk of their education. Unfortunately, college grads tend to earn less throughout their career, so instead of underwriting their education, you may want to wait until they need help with the down payment on their first home. Over time, your assistance will probably help them as much financially as a university degree. For instance, putting up $50,000 for their down payment on a $250,000 home will lower their monthly mortgage payments by about $440.